Et Tu Me Manque
by sashsweetie
Summary: What will he do if she dies? How does a husband deal with the loss of his wife? How does a daughter cope with losing her mother?


_So this is dying..._Hoshi thought to herself fuzzily as she felt the life leaking out of her through several small, but well-placed holes in her chest. She felt herself being gathered into someone's arms and strained for air as her position altered and her breathing became shallower. Looking up, she saw the hazy face of her husband.

"Hosh?... Hoshi?" his voice broke as the full extent of the situation dawned on him. Hoshi felt a tear splash down upon her forehead.

"Shhh." she whispered, and painfully moved a hand from her chest to cup his cheek, leaving a bloody mark on his skin.

"I'll comm Dr. Phlox." his words were those of a desperate man. "We'll transport you up to Enterprise. He'll patch you up, I promise!"

Hoshi laughed hollowly. "Malcolm Reed, an optimist - who knew?" her eyes showed the pain she masked in her voice. Her eyes grew softer, love overtaking the pain. "I love you, Malcolm." Her hand dropped from his cheek to fall upon his hand. "Take good care of Kaytie. Tell her I love her." She coughed quietly, drops of blood falling upon her lips. Malcolm wiped them away with his sleeve. Silently he bent forward and kissed her on the forehead.

"I love you too." he smiled at her through his tears as the planet winked out of existence around them and Enterprise suddenly faded in. Hoshi's eyes were closed and a faint smile graced her lips. No evidence of pain was on her face. Tears trickled slowly down Malcolm's cheeks as he looked down at his wife.

An hour later, Malcolm Reed sat silently in Sick Bay looking in devastation at the body of his wife as she lay on a biobed. Dr. Phlox had told him there was no way she could have been saved, even if the shooting had taken place on board Enterprise - there had simply been too much damage to her thoracic cavity.

"Mommy!" the voice of a small child shrieked as she ran through Sick Bay to the bed that Hoshi lay on. She fought Malcolm with amazing strength as he attempted to pick her up. "Noooo!" she pushed him away. He let her, tears starting down his face again as he watched his daughter climb up on his chair and regard Hoshi. Only then would the five-year-old allow him to gather her into his arms, her tears soaking through his uniform.

T'Pol stood in the corner of the room, beside the door, even her eyes glistening in a rare show of emotion as she looked at the body of her friend. Hoshi had been her sole female companion on board Enterprise, and T'Pol had been the bridesmaid at their wedding. She had been caring for Kaytie while Hoshi and Malcolm had been on the planet. Now she looked on in horror.

Gently Malcolm stroked the long brown hair of his sleeping daughter. It had been a long week. Hoshi's funeral had been understandably difficult, and since her mother's death, Kaytie refused to do anything unaccompanied by either himself or T'Pol. He sighed. At least now she was sleeping. The first night she had stared out the window at the stars going by, refusing to move. It had been one of her and Hoshi's favourite past times, although Hoshi always complained that the stars were going the wrong way. A chime at the door jerked Malcolm from his thoughts. Quietly he stood, moving to push the button which opened the door to reveal T'Pol. Putting a finger to his lips, he motioned her inside.

"Tea?"

"Please." the Vulcan nodded. "She went to sleep?"

"Finally." Malcolm filled the small kettle in the bathroom and spooned green tea leaves into two cups - something else of Hoshi's which had grown upon him. He waited for the water to boil and brought two cups of steaming tea to the table at which T'Pol had seated herself. "Is that why you came?"

"No." she admitted. "I wanted to see if you were alright."

"Oh." he ran a hand over his face. "Well, I'm as well as can be expected." T'Pol regarded him steadily as she took a sip of tea. He avoided her eyes. "I..I miss her." he stuttered out finally.

"I also miss her." T'Pol stared into her mug of tea. "She was a good friend to me."

"I miss the way she did things." Malcolm smiled lopsidedly. "The way she sang in the shower in languages I couldn't understand, the way she'd kiss me on the nose when I made her laugh...everything." he sighed. "She was amazing."

"She thought you were amazing too."

"Really?" He sounded hopeful as he dropped his eyes to the table. "She was always too good for me. I never understood why she agreed to marry me."

"She loved you." T'Pol replied simply. Malcolm sighed.

"And now she's gone."

"Yes."

The two finished their tea in silence.

"I should go, if you are all right," T'Pol stood up from the table almost half-an-hour later. "I have a meeting with the Captain."

Malcolm nodded. "Of course. Thank you for coming by, I appreciate it." he stood too, walking with her to the door.

"It was not a problem." T'Pol informed him. "Good night."

"Good night." Malcolm returned as she walked out the door. Slowly he gathered up the mugs, washed them out, and set them up to dry. Then he moved over to where his daughter lay sleeping on the bed and drifted calmly into his first real rest since Hoshi had gone.


End file.
